Monday, July 23

Another Fail Cause By Social Media

You know the arrow "hidden" in the Fed Ex logo?

Notice how the moment you finally "see" it, you never not see it?

It's sort of annoying actually.

(And if you don't know what I mean, this is me now rocking your visual world:   If you look at the white space between the E and the X in the logo, it forms the shape of an arrow.  Coincidental?  Intentional? Clever subtle brand marketing?  Meh,  I don't know.  It's a shape, and it's there.  Much like the way the white-spaces under the beautiful golden arches of McDonald's big M are phallus-shaped.  Oh, sorry, did you not already know that?)

Anyhoo, I liken this to the anthropological discovery I've made, thanks to Facebook, and specifically My Newsfeed.

And that is:  Some People Just Really Do Sorta Suck.

Their status updates aren't funny.
They're not interesting.
They're not entertaining.
They're not socially enlightening.
They're sorta weirdly written.

And mainly, they're informative.  On multiple levels.  They provide information that -- if it were something edible -- would be akin to a meal of crab grass and room-temperature tap water.   And, they also inform me that the author of said grass/water repast is also someone that might bore me to death.

Potential fatality.  And therein lies the danger.

But how to better describe in words what this is?  Are they dorks? Douches?  Socially Inept?  Corny?  Literal?   Ay, I'm so exhausted trying to pin it down, exactly how to describe this anomaly, that I call upon the rest of you to continue my preliminary research to help sort it out...  a possible new addition to your friendly neighborhood shrink's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Coz whatever this thing is, it seems like it's catching.

Please, Facebook....  say no to online predators and People Who Generally Suck.   Their humor, interests, observations, provocations, etc. are not good for the general safety and welfare of the community at large, nor my constant need for amusement.  (By "their", I was referring to both aforementioned demographic groups)

Maybe a filter?  Something that can sort out the wah-wah-wah's of their mundane lives, because they are becoming  glaringly obvious to me, as if their status updates are showing up in 18pt BOLD HELVETICA. 

...and the filter can have a SPONSOR.  And the sponsor MUST be Fed-Ex.

And every time a sucky person posts something, a MASSIVE Fed-Ex logo is just automatically watermarked on top of it.

At least the white arrow can distract the eyes, and consequently, save a life.

Get on it, Eisenberg.

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