Remember When They Used To Make...

Imagine that, a world without toilet paper rolls.

OK, don't panic. We'll still have toilet paper, but we won't get the cardboard roll in the middle. Just read that Scott toilet paper has a "tubeless toilet paper" -- where they wound up the TP in a certain way that doesn't require a cardboard tube in the middle.

Oh, just look at us. Mankind, so environmentally-friendly. Pretty soon, no carboard rolls in any type of paper product that comes on a roll. Just great.

Why do I not seem excited about this progress that we've made?

Because. Because of the kids. Yes, kids. What will kids use now for arts & crafts projects that require those leftover cardboard tubes? Don't tell me they'll actually have to be sold back to us in a craft store? Heck no, I'm not paying for that! That stuff's supposed to come for free... when I'm done with my toilet paper!!

This is an economic injustice, I tell ya!!!

And let's talk about the other ways that our "great progress" has really been a hit to the artsing & crafting segment of the population: the invention of other hot-weather treats that have made popsicles less popular over the years? Yeah, guess what. Now, no more LEFTOVER POPSICLE STICKS! Single-use coffee makers & plastic containers for ground coffee?? Where am I supposed to find "empty coffee cans" when the need arises?

I especially don't like the fact that little kindergarteners worldwide no longer bring home styrofoam Christmas ornaments they cut out of stuff they found in the trash. Is styrofoam even made anymore, or has it already been outlawed?!

My personal displeasure: wanting a twist-tie, and not knowing where to find out. Damn you, clever trashbag manufacturers for building the tie into the bag itself.

So sad. I think the end of the twist tie is near. If you have any left in your junk drawers, hold on to them for dear life. They'll probably be worth something in another year or two.