Wednesday, April 14

Leotards & Matching Leg Warmers?! WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!

This outfit is the fitness secret to Barbie's 2mm waist circumference!I was thinking about blogging about this fitness class I'm taking (I don't want to be too specific, in case anyone from my class happens to also be a listener) and I'm not at all thrilled with it. A non-refundable disappointing commitment that I'm stuck with until summer.

Now, I've taken this type of fitness class before -- and all I'll say is it's a form of rhythmic aerobic-style exercise -- and I really love doing it, but this time around, I've got this instructor who is very motivated, but not very... well-suited, let's say.

IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!It's like he/she graduated from the school of Jane Fonda Early 80's Aerobicize For Girls With Big Hair & Full Makeup. Because instead of sticking with the traditional (more familiar) routines, I feel like I should be wearing a leg warmers & a leotard over my tights. Oh, and a matching headband as to not muss up my feathered bangs. We've been doing jumping jacks interspersed with some Rockettes-like high kicks and twisting to a Chubby Checker soundalike. And there has been plenty of awkward clapping rhythmically incorrect places. Then, at the end of the hour, there are a few moments of Country Line Dance meets 3rd Grade Phys Ed.

In short, it is turning out to be an OLD FASHIONED AEROBICS class, and everyone is falling all over their own limbs. It's your basic cluster F. Before Activia, Jamie Lee had the guts to probably being going commando in this getup

Which reminded me of the era of Jazzercize and all things Jane Fonda, which made me think of this hysterical (but SO GOOD) aerobics show called "The 20 Minute Workout". Which, despite it's awesomely concise cardio formula, was actually meant to be an censor-approved opportunity to watch hot girls work out. I mean, elaborate leotards and all.

When did women stop wearing the "leotard plus tights combo"? Headband, leg warmers, and matching Reeboks, the whole shebang?

I feel like there is a Glamour Shots joke buried in here somewhere...Would that be a major faux pas now, to wear that whole kit & kaboodle the next time you hit the gym? Or would we actually stop and go, "What a clever, functional, and COLORFUL outfit! I bet she has a better workout experience covered in all that lycra & shiny polyester!" ?

When I googled gym etiquette, there weren't a lot of references to apparel (I guess bc the headband era has gone the way of Normal Gentle) -- I'll post my findings on Gym Etiquette tomorrow --

But seriously... did we really dress like this??
(Yes, yes, I know, I know. It was more of a rhetorical.)

No joke, I'm not sure if the actual purpose of this show was FITNESS.
So for your retro enjoyment/shame, here's a little something to remind us why we now opt for comfy cotton t's and yoga pants made of neutral colored materials that breath easier.

Because dressing like this (if you had the bod to match) covered in all this makeup (if you had the face that needs covering) kinda screams... "I'm a dirty dirty girl! But don't you dare judge me, because I love calisthenics!"

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