I actually care enough about ONE PERSON to bother watching "The Bachelor"

Hahahahah.

This picture cracks me up.

I don't care a wink about The Bachelor, but after listening to Chris & Dave off-mic going on and on about this show, it's hard to not be mildly curious....

OK... soooo... I was not at all curious. Hahaha, it just wasn't enough to entice me. But! I did catch a bit because I only care about one thing:

Will Kate Gosselin be on Dancing With The Stars?

Why do I care? Because I actually was/am a big fan of Jon & Kate Plus Eight: The Early Pleasanter Years. And if having Kate on DWTS for all her hair-extended, anal-retentive glory makes for some funny TV (and I am certain her and Maksim, dangerous on the dance floor, will provide plenty of comedic fodder)... then there is that slight possibility we may see the occasional clip of the Plus Eight.

'Coz I miss them. Maybe not so much Maddy. But the sextuplets, yes. A little cameo of Little Leah or Aidan may be enough to win back my waning interest in ballroom dance performed by D List "celebs".

But, as for my take on this final half hour of The Bachelor...

1. So waitta sec, he gets TWO rings? Is one for each girl? I'm confused. Then what happens to the "backup" ring? Does the loser/runner-up get to take it home and cry into it the consolation-prize-slash-ring every night? I don't understand this.

2. I just love that he described one girl as "great for having a family with"... then the other as "passionate and sexy". Hahahah. Jerk. Basically, he thinks one will make a reliable "girlfriend" and potential wife-in-training, qualified to bring home to mommy. And the other chick he thinks is hot and/or easy.

So sue me, maybe I'm missing something deep and thrilling about this show that I'd understand if I actually took the time to watch.

...

Go ahead and sue me anyway. I imagine it'd be less painful.



OK, follow-up thoughts:
So either -- one -- we believe that he genuinely loved Runner-Up Girl (hereafter known as The Loser)... -- or two --we believe that he is not really letting himself fall in love with the other Non-Winners, just "saving himself" for The Winner:

- So on one hand, The Winner gets the guy, knowing full well that he is also in love with another girl (The Loser). Unless he really is a jerky guy who can love two girls at the same time, but suddenly stop loving at least one of them at the drop of the hat. Sorta jerky. Frightfully realistic. But still jerky.

- On the other hand, The Loser leaves realizing she poured herself out, heart and soul, to a guy who pretended he liked her as much as she liked him, who then turns out to be not accurately representing himself. In some circles, we refer to that as "lying".

HEY! Waitta sec, this might actually be a true REALITY show after all!!!

And finally (for now)

- Grown man crying, awesome. HOT grown man, crying. Awesomer.