Yeah, hahaha, as IF. What a day I've had so far, and it's only lunchtime.... Yup, sorry guys, no Product Du Jour. But since my name's on the blog, guess what, you get a Toni Ryan Story Du Jour.
Should I start with the fact that I left for work VERY VERY late, first of all, mainly because I was caught up listening to Tommy Jordan's riveting Phony Phone Call (comedic genius!)?... Then I also realized that I wrecked this beautiful wooden end table with nail polish that must've spilled weeks ago and I never noticed (the varnish is all permanently screwed up).
By the time I was in the car, I barely had enough time to pick up coffee. And since I can't be fun and perky without the aid of caffeine, so I rushed to Nassau St for a quick stop at Starbucks . I'm parallel parking the car when the phone rings... it's my pal Lauren... who never calls me in the morning, plus she is out of town. So I immediately think, OMG, is something wrong??
So as I am grabbing the phone, I pull on the parking brake, grab my coffee mug, search for change for the parking meter, find my handy Starbucks gift card, jump out of the car, nearly get hit by a truck, mittens fall on the ground, throw them back in the car, hit the door lock, slam the door shut...
... Meanwhile Lauren is telling me something -- and I barely remember what it was, because I am now patting down my pockets realizing.... NO KEYS.
Nearly hang up on Lauren, and immediately call my brother, no answer. He's in college, so of course at 9 in the morning on a weekday, he is fast asleep.
Call my brother, no answer.
Call my brother, no answer.
Call my brother, and finally a drowsy "What?" on the other end of the line.
I beg him to jump out of bed and drive down to Nassau Street with my spare keys. It's 9:13 AM. I'm supposed to be in the studio ready to start gabbing at 9:45 AM.
Go into Starbucks anyhow and get the coffee. After all, I 've only got my cell phone and my empty Starbucks mug and a gift card full of money, what else could I do? I wait outside because I've got a lot of phone calls to start making. Start with PST's Wade, our in-house problem solver. Should I wait for the keys? Or should I have someone at the station come and get me?
It's now 9:22 AM, my bro on the other line says he's in the car. Wade and I start inventing possible contingency plans... and then I happen to look up at my car.
There's exhaust coming out of the muffler.
Yes. The engine still is running.
Call Wade, he says he'll try and stall the Wake Up Crew. Oh good.
Call bro, he says he sees a detour ahead in the road. Oh God.
Plus it's FREEZING out. And I don't have my mittens, they're in the car. My toes, my fingers, my ass, all getting numb.
Finally the bro calls, "I'm down the street." I tell him don't even bother pulling over, just unlock the car with the remote on the key.
Well guess what? You can't unlock the car with the remote when the car is running. What a nice safety feature. (Damn safety feature!)
9:44 AM get in the car, and I hear the Wake Up Crew talking about last night's episode of Survivor. I go flying down Alexander Road behind morons, all of them morons.
Pull into the parking lot, the Wake Up Crew is getting ready for Last Call. Come running up the stairs, running into the studio, and they make me talk about this debacle on the air while I'm still out of breath.
So yes, I made it. But let me tell you, my coffee has never tasted crappier.
Is there a moral to this story, you ask? Yes, and here it is, so brace yourself:
Stress has a way of ruining a damn good cup of coffee.