Tuesday, May 31

Movie Worthy Embarassing Moments

I just read this blurb that Dolly Parton -- who is renowned for wearing wigs -- lives in constant pseudo-fear of having a wig-related moment of embarassment.

"One time I was riding a bicycle [in] this little grove with an overhanging tree.... I cycled under it, turned around and there was my hair hanging from a branch."


But I cannot laugh. At least not aloud. And neither can you.

So, here it is. My most Movie Worthy Embarassing Moment.

At least, it's the only one I can think of, because I'm sure there are many... I am just good at repressing the humiliating memories of it. (This is mainly why I very rarely remember anything... because I am a full-time klutz and spend most of my time pretending I didn't have these incidents.)

I was raised in a household where you dressed up for church. This was pounded into my head enough that even as an adult, I still would wear hose and heels and "Sunday's Best" to mass. One Sunday several autumns ago, I was wearing pressed slacks, a blouse, heels, pearls, overcoat, the whole snooty shebang. Went to mass. Sauntered into church like a bitch on wheels. Walked all the way up and sat down in a front pew. Silently scoffed the slobs who came in jeans. Even scoffed at the jeans-wearing ragamuffins I passed as I walked all the way back to my car down a busy street.

When I got home, I remembered that right before I had to leave for church, I had to make a quick peepee....

... and I had pulled my pants up over my the back of my coat. And it stayed that way until I got home and realized it.


I wear jeans to church now. I've learned the error of my formerly snootylicious ways. And so now I've bared my humiliation for all to see, please share yours. Thank you.

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