Today is FAT TUESDAY.
Mardi Gras. Beads. Boobies. Beer.
But in the world of us Catholics-since-before-birth, it is also THE DAY BEFORE ASH WEDNESDAY and THE BEGINNING OF LENT.
And for those of you who weren't assumed Catholic in the womb, you're thinking, "Yes of course it's Lent. I don't know what that means, but sure. Lent."
Frankly, I'm not up to schooling you on the whowherewhatwhen of Lent (that's what Wikipedia's for, fools!) but I'm just wondering : what everyone's giving up for Lent, or what would you give up, if Lent was a thing you did.
(Disclaimer here: I'm not gonna pretend that I am some sort of great religious person, but I like to regularly recognize Lent by going, "Ooh. Oops. Oh yeah, it's Lent.... what to give up....?" I am gonna pretend however that I am a nice person. )
Any kid who grew up Catholic knows how this game goes... "I'm gonna give up cursing." "I'm gonna give up chewing gum." "I'm giving up sweets."
... and usually these are the things you don't really do anyhow. People who don't drink coffee give up caffeine. People who don't have a sweet tooth tend to give up candy.
Or, the Lenten sacrifice usually goes perfectly... for at least most of the 40 days. Well, at least three or four of the forty days.
I was just thinking of giving up soda (for real!) ... as I sat here sipping my Diet Coke. And then I was like, HECK NO! Nah gone do it. Toni Ryan loves the Fountain Soda. Then, while I sat there thinking of other possible things to give up for Lent, I accidentally snorted up a whole mouthful of soda up into my nose. Crap. Not cool, God! NOT COOL!
Give up Facebook?
Give up watching soaps?
Give up watching TV altogether??
Give up pizza?
Ugh. I'm sure this is making me sound like the kind of typical Catholic that everyone else rolls their eyes at.
And I'm not gonna argue with you there. After all, I'm the one still blowing soda out of my nose.