Wednesday, November 24

Wisdom Teeth

My friend Petey is getting his Wisdom Teeth out today.

of them.

He mentioned this to me last night, when I asked him about his plans. "I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning. At 9AM."

"Dude, you realize, you're not coming out drinking with us tomorrow night."

"Eh, yeah, I guess. We'll see."

"No, I don't think you understand. You're not gonna be drinking with us tomorrow night. And good thing you're not much of an eater, because you won't wanna be eating anything on Thursday either."

That's right. Today. The day before Thanksgiving, Petey is getting a double-extraction.


I would never put even my worst enemy under the hell that is a Wisdom Tooth Extraction (having been through two of my own. Two separate traumatic events.)

And not even the holy hell that I endured my while my dentist planted his foot on my chest so he could brace himself for the yanking. Or the grabbing and pulling from inside my mouth that lobbed my head around the room, as if he was some kind of sloppy baggage handler, and my whole body was the suitcase and the handle was inside my mouth. Or the agonizing hour of watching the reflection in his glasses of the pooling puddles of blood in my mouth, or actually seeing my blood splatter on his glasses. Or the muffled non-apology he sorta mumbled afterwards that kinda sounded like him saying, "Yeah, maybe we shoulda sent you to an oral surgeon for this" because it turns out the renegade tooth was facing in a direction that would've been perfect if my mouth was located under my chin. Or the fact that after waiting an hour at the World's Worst Pharmacy that was already a 45 minute drive away from the dentist's office, the pharmacist said, "Oh, we've been trying to call you... the date is wrong on this prescription, so we couldn't fill it. Can you just go back to your doctor's and get another prescription and come back later?" Or that a full year later, turns out Dr. Pith Helmet & Pickaxe was NOT nearly done with crushing my spirit by removing a tooth.

Probably the WORST thing... was the damage to my PSYCHE.

All you "friends" and "loved ones" who thought it best to mentally prepare me for the worst? The physical pain was one thing, but the horror stories they told me beforehand was just as bad.

So, as Petey pondered the realization that he wouldn't be packin' on pounds this Thanksgiving Day because he'd be on the oral-surgery-starvation-diet, I proceeded to regale him with the time-honored oral tradition if you will, of potential Wisdom Teeth nightmares.








(ok, I'm embellishing)

So, here it is, I encourage you too to share you worst Wisdom Tooth Extraction stories here. The more gory, the better. So I can share with Petey, and so you have more tales of terror to share with your pre-extraction loved ones.

Happy Thanksgiving!


  1. Wow.... thanks so much! I am going for my wisdom tooth removal consultation next Tuesday... I wonder what their cancellation policy is.....

  2. HAHAHAHAAH OH, oops! Sorry Nikki, I hate to break it to you, but you're gonna HAVE to do it.... so you can join the club and also have cool stories to tell to others when it's THEIR time!!! hahaha. good luck!

  3. I had to get all 4 of mine out at once, and they put me under anesthesia to do it (I think 2 of the teeth were impacted). Unfortunately, I didn't realize, until I was coming out of the anesthesia, that this place was like something out of a bad, let's get this person done and move right onto the next one. I was so out of it, my mouth was bleeding nonstop, and they only let me "recover" for all of 5 minutes before they made me leave! Going to the pharmacy was awful because there was a little girl who must have been completely frightened of me. Talk about damage to your psyche! Lol. I've never scared a kid before :( To make things worse, I had it done in the afternoon on a Friday (I don't think I had much PTO left to use), so I hadn't eaten since the night before, then didn't eat again until at least Monday (and even then, it was just liquidy stuff). I went to work but I was in so much pain that I ended up leaving early. I think it took until that Friday, like a full week later, for me to fully recover. I think it was worse than childbirth! Lol.

  4. I had my wisdom teeth removed in two separate visits. And both times, Jake Ryan drove me home.

  5. Well I think I ended up making the worst decision ever. I scheduled mine for the day before New Years Eve!!!!! It was my only option in the near future where I wouldn't have to take any days off of work. Yikes! Wish me luck!!! My only decision right now is to get knocked out or to get the gas and stay awake.

  6. Wow wisdom teeth extraction sounds so intimidating. Hopefully, I would be able to find an excellent dental treatment center if ever I would be the one who would have to undergo this kind of procedure.

    dental clinics