Monday, October 11

Have Money, Will Show Off

Um, yeah.  Any chance you could make these into singles?  It's a pretty anemic looking pile.If I had a HUGE PILE OF CASH, what is the most obnoxious thing I could do with it?

These are the type of challenging, thoughtful questions I like to worry about when I've got nothing better to do.

The $100K PAYDAY has forced me to make very serious decisions about what I would do if I ever suddenly acquired $100,000. I like to be prepared for when life throws impossible situations at you, or when it throws piles of money at you. I want to be ready.

I know for sure that I would graciously accept the money... and then hand it back... and politely, but firmly, ask that the money be handed to me in cash. Unmarked bills. Unmarked dollar bills.

I really could care less about the unmarked-versus-marked thing, but I know never in my life will I be in a position to demand such a thing. But the dollar bills part would just be the source of endless fun.

Heh heh.

And then picture it... I'd go buy a car... and pay for it in cash. Yes, in single dollar bills. I would sit on the floor in the middle of the dealership, counting out piles of money. (By the way, iss there a good strategy for doing this? I mean, especially when counting out like thirty grand in single dollar bills? Should I do piles of tens?)

I'm sorry, I have this bad habit of dropping all my money everywhere. Or, I'd pay for a really expensive elaborate dinner with fifty friends. We'd move from the bar to the table. We'd request separate checks for everyone in the group. All the while, I'd be funding the entire occasion, dropping my piles of single dollar bills at every spot. "Oh, your tab's $71.87? Ok, so, like $85 for your bill? Ok, one, two, three, four... man this drink is strong. Where was I? Oh yes, one... two... "

Maybe I'd take a bunch of friends and family on a cruise. I'd walk into the travel agency and book my trip. Drop cash into a really messy pile on their desk, and then laugh and apologize. "Oops, my bad. Let me count that out for you. What was it? Thirty thousand and change for the whole thing? OK, I'm gonna need a little bit of room here. Can you move these desks outta my way?"
Now, my new quandry is how I would cart around all of this MONEY. Anybody know how much a hundred thou would weigh in singles?

(BT-dub, "hundred thou" is how the folks with money talk)

That will be my next challenging & thoughtful concern to worry about.

I'm having a hard time deciding between a really fun red wagon, or just hiring somebody with big arms to carry the money for me. Like have them hugging a huge pile of my singles, some of the money coming out of their pockets and clothes. I like the image of it, even though it sounds pretty messy.

Eh, don't worry. I'll figure it out.

SO... how about you?

I wanna hear your really obnoxious plans for your $100K PAYDAY!

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