Tuesday, August 10


If you've ever got a day where things aren't going right, and every calamity is just doing a number on your psyche... there is one thing you should remember that is guaranteed to make you feel better.


Seriously, you do. This occurred to me today reading this headline:

Fed-up attendant curses out fliers,
exits JetBlue flight by emergency slide

Yoooohooooo! I can fly this stick-figure plane with no hands!A JetBlue flight attendant left his job in dramatic fashion yesterday... cursing out passengers on his flight before exiting via the plane's emergency exit -- beer in hand -- and driving off....

BRAVO. BRA-fricking-OH!

I guess there's something in our heads that make us automatically think, "You can't do that! You can't just grab a beer and plow through a plane's emergency exit just coz you're pissed off!"

But I guess you can! And the truth is, so can the rest of us. Well, not literally. But I'm sure there's something in your everyday life that you CAN do to make yourself feel better when things aren't going your way. (I do mean of course, nothing that would cause bodily harm to yourself or another person)

Like, take your job, for instance.

It's pretty obvious what I could do at my job, but I won't dare say it out loud and jinx myself and my sailor's mouth. But seriously, think about it... there are ways you could -- just at work -- really screw people over. Of course, you'd be probably be ensuring a pink slip for yourself, but take comfort in the fact that you could.

A toll booth collector? Don't collect tolls, just let everybody roll through. In fact, be super nice as you say, "Toll? No, it's on the house today! Safe driving!"

Don't make me hang up on your phone call!A teacher? Duh. Make up stuff. Write up bogus hall passes for everyone. Give everyone an A+ on the "pop quiz" you're not really having.

A barista? How about slipping some caff in the half-caff? Easy-peasy!

A receptionist? See all those blinking lights? Hang up on all of them. Don't answer the phones again for another few minutes. You wouldn't believe how easy it is to use the phrase, "I guess your call got disconnected."

A bagger at the grocery? Duh. Eggs at the bottom, my friend. Eggs at the bottom.

You get the idea.

And there it is, you DO have power. And I hope that little reality check gets you through your day today.

Just be forewarned, though, whereever you go that someone else might've read this blog and really taken it to heart.

In that case, you might wanna bag your own eggs.

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