The Jersey is Back!!

"Real Housewives New Jersey".

And "New Season"

OK, now talk amongst yourselves.

WHAT?! Holy cow I forgot how crazy this show was (table-flipping aside) -- and I loved every single second of it. In fact, I must've hit the "instant replay" button on my remote so many times after I said out loud to no one, "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!" (Obviously, after the Instant Replay, I'd then say out loud to no one, "O... K... looks like she DID!")

Some of my favorite moments from the season premuire, both cringeworthy & otherwise:

* Dina's OTHER "cat"... OMG. I don't know. I do appreciate that she tried to stay out of the gossip fest at the party. Good karma, right?

* Teresa's 180 jars of "gravy" -- I love what an old fashioned good Italian girl she is underneath all the gold jewelry.

* Jacqueline is no nit-wit. I love her conversations with her daughter. Even her relationship with her Manzo. She seems like a nice girl who's just trying to swim with the sharks. Wasn't the baby so cute?

* Who is this new double-crossing girl from the store that was later trashing Danielle? I'm like, please don't make her the newest addition to the cast!

* Caroline is so sweet with her husband. I love her. But no way in hell would I ever double-cross her (or her family.) Her hubby lost a LOT of weight, looked totally different.

* OK... DANIELLE. UGH. First of all, HER POOR CHILDREN. Begging her to stop making a fool of herself. And then she FINALLY says, good thing you guys talked me off the ledge, i'm so lucky to have such smart kids. WHAT?! Oh my goodness, she let her children (CHILDREN, mind you!) have to KEEP BEGGING until she decided to stop stalking Caroline's party. Her children had to KEEP BEGGING. What is wrong with this woman? And if you listen carefully, the little one, makes these snide comments under her breath --- POOR KID! The humiliation must be unbearable at that age.

* AND... DANIELLE and THE PRIEST. HUH?! She kept bragging about what a devout Cathlic she was. That she prays all the time. Goes to church all the time. I thought the priest would be able to talk some sense into her, but basically she sat in front of him and didn't hear a word he said. He told her that YES, it was hard to forget when people hurt us, but we need to learn how to forgive. Her reply? She began talking about something else entirely. He told her next that she needed to forgive so she could move on with her life. Her reply? She started talking about something else. She kept going on and on about how people had wronged her, and finally he asked, "Why are you here?" And she said, "I want you to tell me how to pray for these people."

RIDICULOUS. And that's just me reacting as a person watching this conversation, not even as a practicing Catholic -- and I don't even wanna say what I think from that perspective!! I was infuriated but laughing so hard at what an imbecile this character is!!

Oh, and don't even frigging get me started about her eyebrows. What is she, permanently surprised?