No Carry-On For YOU!

There's been a lot of talk about Spirit Airlines charging for carry-on luggage.

Of course, people are freakin' bc of what this could mean for the rest of the airline industry, blabbity blah blah blah...

Here's what I say:

GO AHEAD. CHARGE US FOR CARRY-ON.

Because frankly, the carry-on situation is getting WAY outta hand.

I used to be the person that would pack like a fiend, decompressing all of my belongings so I could fit all of my stuff into the allowable max of carry-on luggage. But then one day, it occurred to me: what the hell was I doing? It was tiring (and painful) lugging around all my stuff around from home to airport to destination like some human turtle, made worse by the fact that I was never gonna grow past five feet tall, so the whole standing-up-on-the-seats to reach the overhead bins was no longer a cute gimmick. It was just plain ol' annoying.

No one was handing out awards for being First Off The Plane or First To The Luggage Carousel ... and what the heck was my rush? Because invariably, I'd be travelling with someone who did check in luggage, and we'd be the First To The Luggage Carousel, and also score the award for Longest Wait At The Carousel.

So, I changed my ways and all was well... TIL THEY STARTED CHARGING OUTRAGEOUS FEES FOR CHECK-IN LUGGAGE!

WHAT THE H.

And this made the whole carry-on business painfully obvious to me: you people who refuse to pay the check-in fee... I don't blame you, but if you're gonna skirt the system by bringing all of your property and memorabilia everywhere you travel onto the plane with you -- please keep in mind, the space on the plane is NOT INFINITE!

We're gonna run out of room on the plane eventually, and chances are, right before that, you're gonna be using up everybody else's allotted overhead space.

And, all the time we're wasting trying to find room for your crap, we are now not leaving on time.

And then... we land, and you're taking your sweet old time retrieving all your stuff, your luggage, your furniture, your milk crates full of old records that you've tucked away all around the plane... and now no one can get off the plane.

I guess we should be grateful that you've spared us some time we'd waste waiting at the carousel.

So here's what I think has to happen:

1) Cut it out with the carry-on crap. Unless you are an air marshal with your bag of goodies, a mom carrying a diaper bag, or a business person with a mobile office that fits in a space-age 9x11 briefcase that you bought off of SkyMall... unless you are any of those people, you may not bring more carry-on than fits in that metal cage at the carry-on display. Like no exceptions.

And this has to happen right at the counter so you have an opportunity to still check-in the offending monster of a suitcase you've brought.

2) And on that note: PLEASE, RAISE THE PRICE OF A TICKET!

I'd be ok with paying an extra 30 bucks across the board just so I don't have to see the stupid luggage check-in fee EVER AGAIN! C'mon, we're getting on your plane, chances are we're gonna bring stuff! In fact, not even that much stuff, so please just tack it onto the price of my ticket!

Prices of tickets fluctuate all the time, so I'd not even really notice that my ticket prices were little higher.

For one thing, ticket prices never seemed low to begin with, so it's not like you're doing us any favors by moving our money around to some other costs anyway!

OK airline industry, I just gave you a billion dollar solution that will revolutionize the way you do business, and I'm giving it you for FREE. Imagine that.

C'mon, giddyup!