Monday, April 12

I don't have a dog, but I think I've got GREAT DOG NAMES!

Newman Says:  British Names Good For DoggieSince I've been that ridiculously allergic child my whole life (the kind you avoid playing with as a kid, because they never seem to be allowed out of their plastic bubble. OK, I'm kidding)...

I've accepted that I will probably never get around to having a dog, but I like to imagine potential pet names. Like the way girls name their imaginary children.

Today, Newman blogged about "How to Pick a Good Name For a Dog". He came up with an easy formula that seems to be spot on.

Now, while I absolutely agree that "British names make great dog names" (ref: Newman, 2010) -- i.e. Reginald, Jemima, & Mr. Darcy all make great dog names -- I was wondering if there are any "rules" for naming your dog.

I guess any person with a pet spends enough time around other pets, or waiting in the Vet's office to hear some ridiculous-and/or-really-boring names, but I guess I wanna know -- can you give your dog a full name, like a first name + last name?

And I still don't mean cheeky combos, like Charles Barkley or SomeLikeIt Ruff.

Or maybe, 'Rachel Green' could work too.  But if we're gonna go down that road 'Monica Gellar' or 'Chandler BINGGG!!!' would make better names.I mean like John Peterson. Or Melissa Carson.

Can you do that? Or is that just ridiculous? I mean, they don't have to be fully made up names, maybe like, favorite singers, or characters, or... OK FINE! Athletes are fine since clearly you like Charles Barkley so much, gosh!!

Like Billy Joel. I'd love it if I walked into someone's house, and they said, "Don't mind Billy Joel. He likes to sniff all the girls' crotches."

Or Tony Micelli. Ay oh, oh ay. I actually sorta like it. I'd love running through the park and hearing someone call out, "Good boy, Tony Micelli! Good boy!"

I say, make up whatever the heck name you want!I mean, why name your dog after its texture or appearance (And that means you, owners of "Fluffy" and "Spot"!) I mean -- you wouldn't name a person after their appearance, would you?? I think it'd be terrible to call someone, "Short Brown Girl with Roots Showing" (I'd slap you, for one thing.)

And if Dog truly be Man's Best Friend, don'tcha think MBF deserves a respectable name?!

I've also thought a lot about Saints feast days. I grew up in a chronically Catholic household, so don't mind me and this suggestion. Today, for example, is the feast of St. Julius. What if today had special meaning for you -- wouldn't it be cute to name your dog St. Julius? Or if you're not into the whole Saints thing... you could always just make up the name of a saint. Example, let's say you're a huge fan of the New Orleans Saints. What about Saint Reggie?

Since I'm allergic to most of anything and everything, obviously, I'd have to get a French Poodle or similar small "hypoallergenic" creature... how funny would it be if I were walking around with a frou-frou dog named St. Bernard. Tee hee, I crack myself up.

OK, so British, and a full name. I guess that's what we've determined between Newman's blog & mine.

Or, better yet, a British saint or celeb with a first and last name.

Victoria Beckham

Margaret Thatcher

Queen Mum

Ricky Gervais

Man, soooo many good names! And I'll probably never get to use them because I'm never gonna get a dog.

Well, thank God I can still have KIDS!


  1. Too funny. We have friends that names their dog Jack Bauer (as in 24) and you must refer to the dog by the full name. Kinda funny. Our dog is names Chloe. One because we liked the name and we like the character on 24. We also have a cat, Dale, as in Earnhardt the NASCAR driver hehe. I told my husband that when we have children, he is nat naming them after tv personalities, so he gets his fix with the animals :)

  2. Hahaha Anonymous, that's hysterical. Is your cat Dale Earnhardt, or Dale Jr.? Or just Dale-no-last-name, like a Beyonce or Madonna? LOL. Good thing we didn't have pets growing up, because they'd be Ernie Irvan & Bobby Labonte (I, too, have lived in a Nascar household)

  3. I have a Tank. Because he looks like a tank. And he looked like a tank even when he was but a wee-little-bit of a puppy. And according to Tank's Dogbook page, he has a first AND a last name.

  4. Thank you Toni, you've helped me come up with the perfect new name. My dog will be known as:

    Bob Barker

  5. HAHA. The cat is in honor of Dale Sr, however, he just goes by Dale. He does like to chase the cars on TV for the races which we find hysterical. He's deaf too so he's special lol