Is this dog for real?

I want this dog.

I especially want this dog because it doesn't look like a real dog.



It reminds me of those little toy dogs that were popular in the 80's. Sorta cute to look at, but you could stuff it with like half a dozen D batteries, and then it would have these loud but limited mechanical movements that were supposed to resemble a stiffly moving robotic dog. And it would yap yap yap the most annoying bark ever.

That's what the Cesar dog reminds me of. Like I don't know if I've ever seen it MOVE in any of the commercials. Maybe it's not real.

Which, in that case, as a person who is not a well-versed "dog lover", I might appreciate in having this kind of comatose dog as my first official pet. ("Official", meaning not including the beagle my parents had when I was little that HATED me, or the dalmation we had for a hot minute because I hated it.) I'm allergic to dogs, cats, etc. Or at least I used to be -- thanks to years of allergy shots, so this would be my first foray into living with a pet. I don't know if I'm actually gonna do it, but I am strongly considering it. And the fact that I'm thinking about it is a huge milestone.


So that's what I'm looking for. A dog. A small dog. Cute to look at, and leaves me the heck alone.

I certainly have a type, don't I?


Don't worry, I'm not really gonna do it. It's pretty obvious I'm not ready, ain't it?