The answer: "Random Thoughts and Stuff That Pops Out At Me"
Umm...mmm... "What... is.... the only things that will stand out to me while watching Idol?"
Yay. Coz that's all I have to offer.
Three rounds of 12 contestants each. It'll be like three separate mini-Idols. Twelve different kids, every week over the next 3 weeks, most of whom I've never seen before bc of Idol's style of need-to-know-basis storytelling. We know we're meeting people for the first time, even thought we've begun falling in love with the folks they want us to fall in love with (Hi, Danny Goecke). Aaah, we're such puppets, and we don't seem to mind. That's what we have to look forward to over the next three months of our lives. Being yanked around like marionettes by the Idol producers and Seacrest toying with our emotions by torturing us to sit thru the breaks.
So to handle all these new faces being thrust at us over the next few weeks, I will be doing what I do best with my TiVo: fast-forwarding.
That's how I combat the feeling of being controlled by the Idol Empire. I watch on my own terms and fast forward at will. God help us all if I actually catch something noteworthy.
So to handle the random free-flow of American Idol commentary, here are the bullet points:
- Paula and the first reminder this season of why she should be banned from live TV happen right at 8:01PM EST. The show has barely started.
- Randy says: "I like the trousers." And Jackie says: "The trousers like you, sir." Please America, let her go home. We want a singing idol. Not a girl with plastic pants who apparently have a thing for Randy Jackson .
- Ricky who? Forgettable yes. Did Simon say that or did I just think that out loud?
- Fast forward fast forward fast forward.... OOPS! OK screechy blonde chick with pink streaks. Blah. Even at a fast speed, the judges seem happy, but it's only the first episode, I'll deal with knowing her if she's still around in a month.
- OMG Paula. "Cute petite... yet so large." HUH?
- Poor Brent Keith and his technical difficulty. He thinks he's got 30 seconds to pull himself together then Seacrest is like, let's walk down these steps on live national TV and have you sing right now instead.
- "I definitely can see you as a country artist." REALLY PAULA? What gave it away?
- Did they always have this American Idol Friends & Family Nook?
- Stevie Wright... uhhh... I heard 2 seconds and kept fast forwarding. Ugh. Listening to the judges is so awkward, possibly even more awkward than her actually singing, but she had it coming.
- ANOOP! I love that he could be the unexpected romantic crooner. Eyebrows need to be controlled though. Have any American-Asian-Indians cracked the pop culture scene yet? I mean, aside from Padma Lakshmi, Kumar/Dr. Kutner, and the dude that plays Sayid? I hope he hangs in there, despite now being dubbed Anoop-Dawg. He can at least get the icky taste of Sanjaya out of our mouths. Hah.
- Cute girl in a hat, kinda reminds me of Mandy Moore. Sounds like "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic". I love this song, please don't do a crappy job on this song, Mandywannabe. ... ... ugh... uhhhh... gaaaahhh... what is she doing??? Make it stop! Make it stop! Kara, make her cry! Wah. Someone make her cry, please! "Your ... phrasing... was weird." Paula, your talking is weird. Oh America, you think she's cute, you're gonna keep her, aren't you? Gah.
- Michael Sarver. I don't know if I could pick him out of a lineup.
- Shoot, I am caught up with live TV. I will go and read a book or something. Be back....
- "Ugh, I sat on the hard part." The only notable thing that happened just now. Well aside from Sara Bareilles totally getting the diss.
- Awww... somewhere Michael Jackson is rolling over in the coffin he sleeps in. Poor guy, I hope America spares him somehow.
- GAH caught up to Live TV again. To be continued..... Don't think I can watch the Del Toro Debacle in real time.