My pal Abby from high school stays in touch by email and the occasional thought-provoking or funny forward. I will classify this as both of the latter.
Not sure if this was forwarded from a friend of a friend, or if this has been circulating the internet. Either way, you should get a chuckle or two. Or 25.
"... And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
- 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. "