So I am partial to Maybelline mascara. They've got a new shade now... "Very Black".
Which leads me to ask the very obvious question: if now they can make a black that is very black, what exactly were they passing off as "black" before? You mean to say all those years, I was being duped, under the mistaken belief I was being sold black mascara, and all along it was actually not-very-black mascara?!?!
Class-action suit anyone?! Hah, I thought so. I mean c'mon Maybelline. Black has already been invented. It either it is, or it isn't. I'll accept "black-brown". But not "very black". Because no one, I mean no one, even for a second, honestly believes you guys have improved just how black black mascara can get.
To that end I say: Maybe it's... BLACK.