Daddy Dearest

I am my father's daughter.

Well, not just 'coz the guy's married to my mom, and he named me after himself, and the fact that we are biologically related.

Sometimes I catch myself telling the world's dumbest jokes (and seriously, I mean The. World's. Dumbest. Jokes.) Sometimes I explode with an overreaction full of words that would make a truckdriver blush and this is when I'm not even mad. Sometimes I re-play entire fake conversations by myself -- out loud -- in the shower. And those are the times for sure when I know that I am indeed my father's daughter.

And for all the times he has failed to be the Cliff Huxtable to my Rudy, or even the Homer to my Lisa, I can't ever imagining despising him this much.

Daughter urges Okla. voters to not vote for father

OKLAHOMA CITY – An Oklahoma judicial candidate is fending off a political attack from his daughter, who has taken out a local newspaper ad urging voters: "Do not vote for my dad!" ....which features a picture of the daughter's family, highlights cases in which Mantooth has been sued and lists a website the couple started, http://www.donotvoteformydad.com. McClain County judicial hopeful John Mantooth said the bad blood stems from his 1981 divorce from his daughter's mother.... Jan Schill, said she never has had a good relationship with her father and doesn't think he'd make a good judge. "...he's made so many people mad, I'm just another mark on his board of people's he's had a beef with."

Eeek. I can draw two things out of this for sure: 1) She feels very strongly about the reputations of her elected officials. And 2) She really hates her dad.

If my dad were running for an office, I'm trying to think of his worst crimes as a dad that would make him terrible at his job. First of all, a good civil servant is probably a good listener. My dad is notorious for tuning in and out of a conversation, particularly when I'm talking in precise details about how I got this awesome skirt at a clearance rack. I would definitely not vote for a guy like that.

So, today I'm glad my dad is just Big Tony, and not John Mantooth. And I'm also glad that Big Tony is not running for any kind of public office in the near future.

I would really hate to have to buy an ad in The Trentonian citing all the exact dates when he forgot to pick me up at school or the things he used to say about my band concerts.

'Coz it could get real ugly.