"Hell no... Woman Scorned!"

Or something like that.

Who is The Dumbest Guy on the Planet today? Charles Phillips is.

Who?

Well, in some circles, he's kind of a big deal -- what with being the prez of software co. Oracle and being an Obama adviser, an all. But even he gets owned sometimes... and this time, by his own girlfriend.

Y'see Yavaughnie Wilkins is pissed at her boo, Charles. So she spent about a quarter mil to put together this little website of all their great memories of their beautiful times together over eight years, and also set up a massive billboard in the middle of Times Square, Atlanta and San Francisco for the entire world to see a lovely photograph of them embracing each other, with a quote from him saying, "You are my soulmate forever."

Aw. How sweet, right?

Oh, is this the part where I also mention THAT THE JACKASS IS MARRIED!!

YES - The JACKASS IS MARRIED.

Owned.