HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOMMY JORDAN!

Well, goshdarnit, Tommy Jordan!
HAPPY_ FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!!

Well I feel like a big jerk!

I am normally not a person who is unable to concoct sentiment or the right words to say, but today, imagine my surprise, when I couldn't think of anything more meaningful to say other than, "Oh my God, dude! I totally forgot! Happy Birthday!"

Luckily, I stumbled upon Birthday Message a website that comes up with easy (corny) lines to express your birthday wishes:

• Happy Birthday, you're not getting older you're just a little closer to death.


• Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.


• Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!


• Money's tight Times are hard Here's you friggin birthday card


• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.


• Better to be over the hill than buried under it.


• You are only as old as you act.

They even have handy one-liners in various situations, like belated birthdays:

• How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older?


• I am sorry I missed your birthday, you have had so many I lost track.


• Sorry I forgot your birthday. Can you reschedule it for sometime next week?


• I'm so lucky to have such a great friend like you... who'd forgive me if I forgot his(/her) birthday.


• Best wishes for your birthday afterwards.

You'll never have to think up stuff again!

AND PLEASE EMAIL TOMMY YOUR BIRTHDAY WISHES
AT TJORDAN@WPST.COM...

I think this will make up for the fact that I forgot.