Friday, October 30

Hailey Glassman could be a role model

Hailey Glassman was whining on TV.

Wait. I shouldn't assume you know who these people are, or why this is significant. Allow me to give you the background. The characters:

Hailey Glassman - the 22 yo girlfriend of "playboy" and supersperm donor Jon Gosselin, and daughter of a plastic surgeon who specializes in televised tummy tucks.

Jon Gosselin - the 32 yo dishrag estranged hubby of human incubator Kate Gosselin (she of cosmic asymmetrical hair craze), former co-star of the popular dramedy Jon & Kate plus 8

How they know each other - her dad successfully extracted the "jowls of a dog"-like incubator from Kate's abdomen, and her mom invited Kate to live with them post-op. I like to think that it kinda made Hailey & Kate like sisters. Picture tickle-fights and hair braiding. When Jon & Kate went kaput, I like to think Hailey jumped in to dry Jon's tears, like a good faux-sister-in-law would.

Where they're at right now - Jon is currently linked with high profile names like Michael Lohan, Nancy Grace, Larry King and a variety of lukewarm babes (Uh, hi... "Octomom"?!) Nonetheless despite the media storm, Hailey has stayed faithful to the man that brought her her 6 minute share of the fame. (That's gratitude right there)

Well, apparently, Hailey thought we deserved to know THE TRUTH about her relationship with Jon. Since I won't subject you to the travesty that is the entire episode of last night's The Insider, here's what you need to know:

"Let me go"? "Let me be 22"?

Hey, honey, how 'bout YOU be 22, and LEAVE the freaking SOB. I don't care who the guy is... or who you are... what fun-loving 22 year old stays with a blatant a-hole, hurts so much she has to go on national TV, and furthermore wants to be dragged down by a divorced dude with EIGHT (count 'em) EIGHT KIDS?!

Your dad's a (famous) plastic surgeon for godssakes! Go buy yourself a new Louis Vuitton and hightail it to Miami or something. You should be hanging out with Kourtney & Khloe, and getting into fights with Spencer Pratt and one of the Lohan or Hilton sisters.

I really don't care about you, Hailey Glassman, but really, if I'm gonna hate you, please let be because you're one of those forgettable celebutantes vying for an opening credit on The Hills, and not the trash that some irresponsible suburban dad leaves behind.

Be a role model for goshsakes!!!

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