Top 12 Resume Disasters

Seriously, people? OK, I know that every person isn't just born to write a stellar resume, but I believe in people, that most people have enough common sense to at least pull together a decent resume.

:::crickets:::

Am I wrong here? I think I might be giving people in general way too much credit.

Careerbuilder.com was kind enough to conduct a survey which yielded the following disturbing results: Top 12 Resume Disasters. Read on.

1. ... mentioned in his resume that he spent summers on his family’s yacht in Grand Cayman.

2. ... attached a letter from his mother.

3. ... used pale blue paper with teddy bears around the border.

4. ... explained a gap in employment by saying he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

5. ... specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday and Sunday were “drinking time”.

6. ... included a picture of herself in a cheerleading uniform. [Toni Ryan says: "Unless you're the cheerleader of "Save The Cheerleader, Save The World" fame, I'd nix the rah-rah photogs"]

7. ... drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager's gift.

8. ... [listed] hobbies included sitting on a levee at night watching alligators.

9. ... included the fact that her sister once won a strawberry-eating contest.
10. ... explained that they worked well in the nude.

11. ... explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”

12. ... included a family medical history.

Uber-ridiculous, that's what I gots to say on the matter.

...Says Toni Ryan, recipient of a Creative Arts for Media Award (1992), whose interests include Pilates, Reality TV shows involving former hip-hop stars, & Making gourmet-style Jello Shots for parties & special events.

Anybody hiring???

HEY. P to the S. There is no such section on a Resume for Life History, so leave it out. And (ancillary to previous), multiple pages of a resume are a complete no-no, unless in there you're listing your previous employment involving curing cancer or resolving the National Debt.

My New Guilty Pleasure

"High School Reunion" <-- new show on TVLand. I think it used to be on the WB, and the basic premise, slightly staged-for-tv high school reunion in some beautiful remote locale, where your favorite high school stereotypes are trapped in the house getting to discover and re-discover each other. WHOAAAAA....

It's like a John Hughes reality-movie-sequel, and I freaking love it. A group nearly-40's with drama galore, it's so played out but yet so awesome, I'm addicted. Only two episodes so far, and I've watched & re-watched them both at least four times.

Ridiculous? Yes.... Ridiculously awesome!

High School Reunion. 10PM Wednesdays on the TVLand channel

St. Patrick's Day. Blech.

Corned beef, cabbage, green beer, shamrock shakes... I'm usually all about St. Patrick's Day, but, sad as can be today. Didn't have a great weekend, but telling that whole sob story wouldn't make for very good radio, now would it?

Oh well, I guess I will just go out tonight with my "World's Cutest Leprechaun" pin, and just try and have a fantastic time out (read: full of adult beverages) and move on.

Ha ha ha... will let you know how that goes.

Bobbi Brown Creamy Lip Color!

People, I think I've found it... perfect marriage between the substantial feel of lipstick and non-waxiness of a gloss (except without the sticky!)... CREAMY LIP COLOR from Bobbi Brown...

I've been using my tube of Heather Mauve religiously since I got it. Also got a tube of Crystal Pink, it's like a really great neutral. Great find, helping me get over the devastation that my favorite Bourjois lipstick was discontinued.

$22.00 online or at lovely departments stores like Lord & Taylor

Zumba

Hahah... I don't know how to explain this, but I've fallen in love with this class at Cando.... Zumba. It's a cardio class but set to latin music. Cheryl, the instructor, is always so freaking pleasant, that even if I'm feeling crappy and uncoordinated, I still feel like I went to some party and I'm not really working out. Also takes the paranoia out of going out to some Latin dance club and making an ass out of myself.

OK, this isn't exactly what it looks like, but I found this vid that should kinda give you an idea....




Plus, Cando freaking rocks! (It's the gym - in the old Forrestal Village food court) I feel like I spend equal parts in the steam room or hot tub decompressing to the amount of time I am actually working out. Have you been there??? Tell me how much you love it too, so I won't feel like such a freak.