Peanut Butter Conspiracy

Someone at Skippy Peanut Butter is out to bilk the American people.

It is so not cool, too.

Spoon in hand, I was enjoying a delightful breakfast: Jar of Peanut Butter. This joy was fleeting because I got to the bottom of the jar, scraped up the sides, and realized... there's at least a full ounce, maybe 2, of peanut butter that is impossible to access.



Behold.



Don't see it yet? Look again.



Who should I start addressing that sternly worded letter to??

One Life To Live... TODAY!

TODAY'S THE DAY!

Justin My Actor Friend will be on One Life To Live...

Brody has gone nutso and his old pal Wes is coming to town :) Hopefully he's not playing a bad guy. Get ready to see some awesomely dramatic Long Stare.

Some OLTL thoughts:

• Tess = major crazy, but I love it
  
• Marty + Todd = ICK! ICK! "We hooked up once in college"? EW! Hi, he raped her. Gang-raped her. ICK! Plus, the old Todd was a better actor. This guy's cuter but he's a little hard to read.
  
• What's up with telling off the principal, Blair? Way unbelievable. Very After-school Special-ish
  
• The Dorian/Langston custody thing.... zzzz...
  
• Who is this Dallas/Paula Dean lady? Is she up to no-good?
  
• Gigi... please, stop over-acting. I don't feel anguish for her. I feel annoyed. I know that's terrible. Hot sex scene in the shower, though.

JUSTIN! TODAY! YAY!

Jazz Club Posing as a Bank

There's construction on a building in Princeton, on 206 where Mike's Tavern used to be. Lots of hubbub about a jazz club coming to Princeton.... Oooh. Aaah.

Cut to: seductively smoky room. Dim lighting. Jazz trio onstage. Low mumble of quiet conversation. Guys in hats. Ladies with elaborate updos.

OK, so I know a Prohibition-era speakeasy wasn't the plan, but that's how I pictured it.

Cut to: The Reality Check. What's almost completed is a plain two-story brick building, with an elaborate two-lane pass through for cars, looking more and more like a pair of drive-through lanes.

Anybody know what happened to the jazz club dream? Any possibility there's a new trend in jazz clubs that involve pneumatic tube shoots?

Fashion Plates

Y'know the other day, talking about gifts I really hated as a kid (i.e. The Savings Bond) and thinking about all my favorite things I loved as as kid reminded me of Fashion Plates...

...and, well... I just really loved my Fashion Plates.

That's all I wanted to say.

:::sigh:::

The Savings Bond

I had a lovely spoiled childhood. I had tons of toys and my parents had tons of friends, and so come birthday/ holiday / communion times, I knew to expect more toys.


Except nothing ruined my happy innocent bliss faster than the sight of ... The Savings Bond.

C'mon people! I'm a kid! I want the Barbie with the business suit and the Pretty Cut 'n Grow and yes, I want another Fashion Plates because I lost pieces from the other two I already had. And the Spirograph, hello! Love that too! And Hungry Hungry Hippo? All the boys think I'm cool because I like playing that and Connect Four.

Savings Bond??!? What kind of fun am I gonna have with a Savings Bond?!

Oh.... how I wish I knew back then what I discovered at 18. Back when ATMs were MAC machines. Back when my savings account passbook was my access to quick cash. When I discovered the sublime joy ... of cashing the ol' once-hated Savings Bond.

Sheer joy.

----

My cousin's kid is turning 2 today. I am the kid's godmother, mainly by default (long story). Yeah, you guessed it, I don't have a present. And, because they live in Florida and I live in here, it's easy to think I don't have to rush around getting a gift, right?

... OK, FINE, I admit I completely forgot.

So, I am going back to the time-honored tradition that I know will be appreciated (in 18 yrs) and is me helping teach this child about financial growth (yawn). But more to the point, you can now buy Savings Bonds online. Hahahaah, seriously! And now that you're thinking about it... (and you're reading this, so I know you're thinking about it)... you, too, are thinking, "Yeah, Savings Bonds aren't such a bad idea! (Especially when they can be purchased last minute!)"


So, here it is... Some Stuff I Learned When Buying The Much Loved Savings Bond:

• The government has a website for this, of course they do: Treasury Direct
  
• The famous savings bonds we all got as kids, the Series E... it's now the EE Bond.
  
• So, you open up an account at this site, and can buy bonds 24-7. The recipient gets an email saying the bond is sitting in this account thingy. Then they manage the bond online -- you can see how much interest is being accrued (I imagine this is like watching grass grow).
  
• If you have old paper bonds, you can convert them into these newfangled online electronic bonds.
  
• Giving to a kid, or maybe don't know a person's SS#? You can use your own soc number (the gov needs it for tracking the bonds)... But the good news, they no longer print the whole SS# on paper bonds, they put only the last few digits if it's printed anywhere.
  
• More info from the gov at Savings Bonds as Gifts.

And now, The One Most Important Thing You Need To Know About Buying A Last Minute Savings Bond Online:

• This account you have to open with Treasury Direct? Five minutes of registration, and now you got your account number, you got your password, and you're ready to rock and roll?

NO.

...'Coz apparently, to log in, you also need the other code #. The one that's on your Account Card.

The Account Card that they're putting in the mail for you right now. Yes. The mail.

(The up side, once you've finally got this code in hand, then yes you can do your imuplsive, middle-of-the-night bond purchases. Until then, absolute squat.)

So, last minute gift-givers (ME)... you can still get old-fashioned paper bonds by going into a bank. But it still gets sent in the mail. However -- the Treasury Direct website offers a nifty certificate you can print that basically says, "Hey, I bought your savings bond and it's on the way..." (paraphrasing here). Which in my case, I'd also have to put in the mail too.

I guess that means that all I'm accomplishing today is sending an email that says, "Hi little child, sorry this isn't a fun toy. Just an email letting you know that an exciting and educational Savings Bond is on it's way! YAY!"

No wonder kids love me.

Anyone wanna take a stab at interpreting my wacky dreams?

Three days in a row now. Have had the wackiest, most vivid dreams involving random cameos and strange details, and I've actually remembered them the next day.

Day One. (or rather, Night One)
The class president from high school is hosting a huge gathering in her extremely large home. (One second it's a cozy McMansion, next it's a Mansion.) Then it dawns on me that it's a high school reunion... and of course, it morphs again, turns out it's also a New Year's Eve party. I end up in the kitchen where she's pulling homemade cookies out of the oven, and she begins to impart an piece of important information to me and tells it as if she thought I already knew it. And it's a biggie -- a very personal thing that I won't get into, but suffice it to say it is both a shocking moment, but also a huge relief because it gives me some much-needed closure.

Now, I have not seen this girl since my high school reunion, but I don't even know if I talked her there, and that was years ago. The follow-up is the day after the dream, I messaged her on Facebook just to find out if maybe she did indeed live in the huge house I described. (Hey, maybe I'm like psychic or something.) I have yet to hear back from her. [Maybe she's still waiting to hear back from the nearest looney bin for advice on how to proceed.] I highly doubt that what she "told" me in the dream is true, although man, did it bring me some measure of peace.


Day Two.
I'm driving through the neighborhood I grew up in, and I see my old piano teacher in her yard. I pull over, say hello. She tells me that there are important things we need to talk about, and that I have to come back so we can talk more.... Later I'm in a bathroom at my parents' house, and the walls are covered in ugly drawings. I look closer, and they're the kind scribblings that look like some decorating changes are on the way, yknow, like trying out paint colors, and penciled notes & measurements. Except they're really detailed, like cross-section illustrations, and it's of my parents' deck, showing exact dimensions of the wood planks and the dates that deck was weatherproofed.

Am I supposed to be building my parents a new deck? And please, don't tell me I'm in need of a lecturing about not having practiced enough for my piano lessons!!!

Day Three.
Was planning an elaborate weekend group trip to a midwestern city. It isn't clear exactly which city at first (later realize it's Denver, but for a while it is Chicago). There's minute-by-minute dissections of the four day itinerary, from the moment we land on Friday. There's big hoopla over car rental until my brother steps in and offers to rent the car now that he's over 25. And I'm not clear who else is coming except for one person, an old roommate.

I have not seen or talked to the old roommate in years, probably not since we lived together in Colorado... maybe that's the Denver connection?

So strange, right? I don't know what to make of it all. I'm getting enough sleep, I'm not eating anything too heavy, or too close to bedtime. Haven't even really had much to drink lately, either. Definitely though, pretty busy and a little stressed at work lately. Usually I don't remember all those details in a dream, but they were so vivid and detailed, and I'm remembering them so clearly, even days later.

I hope it stops, because it's getting way confusing. I mean, in the back of my mind I'm feeling guilty about not playing the piano and wondering how many other old classmates are living in mansions!

And I better hustle on that new deck!!!

90210... House... OLTL...

Had a lovely evening with my Tivo... Awesome TV watching night!!!!

In short, I only have three words: DYLAN! WILSON! JESS/TESS!

90210: Goodness, I did not expect I'd get sucked in this quickly, but there it is. Three episodes, I'm a fan. I love that all the characters have so many different things going on, and not being cliches straight out of the John Hughes Book on Teen Stereotypes. That the rich popular girl is not just some ice princess, that she apologizes, is nice to special needs kids, and that bad things happen to her. That the angry rebel girl isn't always angry all the time (and she's a total raging flirt too!). Loved the scene with Nat giving Dixon the job and indirectly talking about Brandon without actually spelling it out. "Donna Martin Graduates" got props! And so did Tori Spelling & baby, so I guess nobody's all that mad at her. Jessica Walter (Granny Wilson)cracks me up. It keeps my hopes up of the much talked about Arrested Development movie in the works (can't wait!). Oooh Kelly gettin' mad... LOVE IT!

But... DYLAN?!!??!!??!!??!!??! What the....?!?!?!!? I SO did not expect that they'd give up the answer to that question so soon. I mean, I was very much onboard Team Kellan (or would it be Dylly?) I think I'm just baffled why they revealed it so soon... they coulda kept that mystery going for months!

House: Yay! Yay! I wasn't so crazy about House Meets Survivor Island staff search from last season, so I was glad this episode got back to what makes this show so good... Lots of House/Wilson dialogue, Cuddy butting in, and the medical mysteries. Last season was redeemed with the last two episodes - the whole bus accident and Amber thing (in case you haven't caught up yet). Hugh Laurie is in a class by himself... I very rarely watch anything and think to myself, "This guy needs a trophy." He's brilliant. By the way, did we ever learn Thirteen's real name? Do they all really still call her Thirteen?

One Life To Live: It only took a week and a half, but I'm almost completely there, fully absorbed into a soap habit. Some random stuff that dawned on me watching yesterday: Dorian throwing the Insta-Party. Hahaha, so ridiculously unrealistic. A little part of me loved the obvious direction we were going in, watching the "Mujeres Cramer" feasting on sushi in their living room, and knowing Ray Montez was heading over at the same time (only in a soap of course).... When Cristian got tossed in the same exact Columbian jail that Ray just got sprung from, I was like, "OH PLEASE!"... but now that I realized they're passing Cristian off as Ray, then I was like, "OH!!!! So Clever!!!" LOL... Who is the doctor that Todd is blackmailing and who is her son?.... I've decided I dislike teens on soaps if they're actually being played by teens. I know that sounds weird, but maybe it's from growing up on soaps when the teens were infants the year before. They go from being played by a pair of twin babies to being played by a young looking twenty-nine year old in the space of two months. Unrealistic, but I'm used to it, and rather prefer it actually.

Uh hello... Tess/Jess. She is freaking awesome. I love how psychotic she is -- it's the best! Totally reminds me of back in the day when her mom Vicki/Niki and her ten other split personalities were lurking around. (So shoot me, I've got a soft spot for the played-out "Evil Twin" storyline). Is it just me or does that actress kinda remind you of Blair from Facts of Life?

SO! Justin My Actor Friend should be appearing in Llanview on 9/25. So excited! I don't know if he's supposed to be on for a while or what, but I'm hoping that it turns into a long-term thing, it'd be nice to always have an soap insider (although I get the impression he's not allowed to tell me a lot of stuff!!!!). I'm totally rooting for him to do well not just bc he's my friend -- but he's such a great guy and has worked so long and hard for this... he's the kind of guy that you want to make it as a successful actor. I think he's SO ready (lots of people aren't) and if you've ever met him, you'd know he's got that kind of charisma and charm that really makes him stand out. It's probably what you always hear on those talent shows when they say they're looking for "The X Factor". Justin's got it, in spades.

And he sure as heck has that soap-operatic "Long Stare" down, pat. I love that, at the end of scenes, the ridiculous dramatic "Long Stare". I can't wait for you to see it!

"A+++ Would do business with again!!!"

I am one those people that is always quick to let the entire planet know when I've been on the receiving end of bad customer service.

And unfortunately the sad thing is, while I know and appreciate good customer service, I fail to talk as often about those positive experiences. Shame on me.

So, on that note, here's what happened to me today:

I had a vacation booked, put the deposit down, and then realized the package price went down. I called to ask for a price adjustment (which they did) and could they change it (which they could). But there was a computer glitch and the guy on the phone couldn't get into my reservation. He tried for a few minutes and apologetically asked me to call back in a half an hour. So, I call back, get a different operator (it's a huge outfit, you get a different person every time), re-explain the whole situation and wait while she gets into my reservation (tick tock)... mumbles some sounds of confusion (tick tock)... and finally exasperated, says, "I can't make the change." (grrrrr). "Your package total is Blabbityblahblah and I can't seem to get a lower price."

I do a double take. "How much?"

Turns out, Unknown Operator #1 who couldn't get into my account, remember him? He lowered my fare for me anyway after I was off the phone. Didn't get caught up in the whole "Well, I can't authorize your account unless you are on the line verifying your information" type of nonsense. He just took the incentive to lower my fare for me later when he was able to.

Complete stranger just doing a good job. Novel idea, right?

Now that I've shared my nice story, I'm encouraging you too to share your tales of Customer Service Excellence, no matter how small (even if it's just a cashier saying, "Have a nice day" and being genuine about it).

Give props to the people who, with their simple courtesy and general nice manners, managed to make an impression on you - please name names and stores and stuff so we can finally give a pat on the back to the nice guys out there. They may not even realize that just by simply doing their job and being nice about it that they made a huge impact on someone else.

And, quick, do it now!

Do it now, before someone in some place of business pisses me off and I change my mind!

I think my mom is trying SWF me

That movie Single White Female still freaks me out. There was a moment this week when I thought my mom was trying to pull this on me. LOL, I'm kidding. Well sort of.

So, my mom is not at all into vanity. Just good about washing her face, wearing moisturizer with sunscreen, and doesn't wear too much makeup, and that's pretty much it. But the thing that as has always bugged me -- probably more so me than her -- is the pair of "11's" she's got on her forehead. We call them her "11's" because they are those two wrinkles at the top of her nose that I always see when she's mad. (Somehow, I'm the one person who is most familiar with them, go figure). They look like the number 11. When she's ticked off, they're pretty obvious. But as the years go by, they've just kinda stuck around. Hahaha, no, she doesn't look mad all the time, but depending on the intensity of the 11 I can tell what kind of mood she's in.

So, obviously, she was willing to humor me one day when we were talking the B word. Botox.

There's this plastic surgeon in Langhorne (Dr. Brackup, supernice guy) with this fancy new facility at St. Mary's and my mom was curious enough to go for a consult. Long story short - she's been "enhanced" :) After a couple of informative chats with Dr. B, she decided to give it a try and take his recommendation on Botox and some fillers.

So - a little Botox + a little Perlane, and she looks awesome. It's hysterical actually, bc I don't think my dad knows she had anything done. And that's a good thing! The biggest worry was that she'd look like this one family friend (who shall remain unnamed) who basically looks like a completely different person after a couple lifts and tucks. The fact that mom's results so far have been so subtle and natural looking, no one has said anything about her looking "different". BUT when you look at the before & after, it's like WHOA -- who knew a little here and a little there could make someone look so well rested! And no more 11!

(Side story, apparently she was pissed at me the other day, and she had to tell me how mad she was because I had no idea. ROFL. So much for the "mad face".)

And aside from her "looking" happier and more pleasant -- I think that doing this little thing has actually made her happier. I've caught her checking herself out in the mirror a couple times now. So funny! I don't think I ever woulda put "my mother" & "plastic surgeon" in the same sentence but there it is. My mother checking herself out all the time is also more comedy.

Well... I kept thinking, man there are so many things I'd always wanted to know about doing this kind of stuff, so I will share with you what I've learned:

• Botox is for wrinkles caused by muscles. Scowling at me for thirty+ years has made the muscle in my mom's forehead sit in this stiff "11" position.


• Perlane & Restalyn (spelling?) are fillers... some wrinkles aren't bc of muscles, i.e. the laugh lines around the mouth.

That's the basics. I learned a ton more too bc I asked a ton of questions... I'm like an expert, sort of. LOL.

Anyhow, I will be tagging along to her next follow-up... anybody got any questions you want me to ask Dr. B? Hey, I figure getting little facial enhancements are the kind of thing people are curious about, so by all means, if there's something you want me to find out, let me know.

p.s. When I say that doing this has made my mom happy, she actually said to me "Maybe I'll end up looking like you." What a funny little compliment.... until I was like, hey! What she's getting at?? I better watch my back.

So cool.

Joe Piscopo is here. Hahaha so cool. He's in the next room recording a commercial. He just popped his head in to say hello, and I offered him a piece of pizza.

Tee heee!!! So cool, I'm still so tickled. Yes I'm blushing a little.

Easy-going pragmatic female in search of new non-irritating cell phone

I'm falling out of love with my cell phone.


Anybody got any decent recommendations?

And keep in mind I don't need fancy bells and whistles... just a decent phone for regular talking use, will stand up to being held up between my shoulder and my head, and has buttons that are easy to use and weighty enough for texting. None of those puny, new-age-y, flush flat-surface keypads either. If you think the menus/buttons/functions are not user-friendly or intuitive, I also don't want to know. If it accesses the internet decently, takes pretty good pictures, and has sufficient storage, I'm listening. Speaker phone would also be good.

Oh, and I refuse to switch from Verizon.

OK, so there you go. Not such a tall order, huh?



p.s. My old cell phone doesn't know yet, so let's just keep this between us, ok?

My TV Cup Runneth Over

Ugh, here we go again.

At the start of every new TV season, I begin to dread it... the full plate of TV-watching I have inadvertently committed myself to. Between the shows I watch for my own personal interest (Jon & Kate, One Life To Live, etc.), taking recommendations (Mad Men, Battlestar Gallactica), buying into the hype (Fringe, 90210), or because I will feel stupid at the watercooler if I miss it (Idol, Dancing with the Stars)... all that television doesn't leave much time for, well, a life.

And thank God for the Tivo, right? Except there isn't enough Real Time to actually catch up with everything I've already got stored. Type A's like myself can relate to my frustration that it will never happen. We will always be at least 2 days behind the rest of the world just trying to keep up and never able to empty the damn thing out!! And now that I have signed myself back up for a soap opera addiction, there is no way I will ever see "0% Memory Used". (Special thanks to Justin My Actor Friend for his coming sojourn on One Life to Live... Be watching on ABC! Weekdays 2PM EST!) I feel like keeping the Tivo at 57% capacity is a huge accomplishment... at least there's room to keep recording! I've even resorted to recording some shows in (brace yourself) ... non-HD, to maximize my storage space. I've also given up on some shows and resort to catching up online. How sad.

So, now you know what my deal is, I'll tell you what I'm watching (and will be watching), and you tell me what you're watching. If you have any recommendations, I'd love hear to why I should be watching even though I have no more room on my plate.

Currently on deck: Jon & Kate, Designed to Sell, What Not To Wear, Keeping Up W/ Kardashian's Butt , Making the Band, Ace of Cakes, Three Sheets, Regis & Kelly, Nigella Eats, American Idol, Dancing w the Stars, Extreme Home Makeover, Arrested Development re-runs, How I Met Your Mother, My Boys, Chuck, Samantha Who, Prison Break, House, Lost, Heroes, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, 90210, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Mad Men, The Riches, Battlestar Gallactica

On the cusp of making the cut: Fringe, The Bonnie Hunt Show, 30 Rock (yes, I'm contemplating doing the work it takes to get caught up), My Own Worst Enemy (dumb name but it's Christian Slater), Pushing Daisies


And if you have opinions on these tough decisions I will have to make, please share your advice:

• Mondays: How I Met Your Mother vs. Dancing with the Stars vs. Chuck vs. Heroes vs. Samantha Who


• Tuesdays: 90210 vs. House vs. Dancing Results Show vs. Idol

Chit-chatting about OLTL

As I mentioned a couple entries back, my friend Justin is going to be on One Life To Live in the near future, so I wanted to get caught up on the plot now. Have only watched 2 episodes, and having not seen watched this show actively in more than 20 years, I gotta admit I was a little surprised to still see people hanging around and up to the same nonsense that was going on back in like '86! (Then again in '93. Yes, I used to be somewhat of a fan.)

Just some stuff I'm still absorbing:

• Tina Roberts looks kinda old-ish. Still can't take her seriously.


• Jessica's split personality... omg. Anybody notice she looks like the old Jessica, or was that intentional? Kinda much bitchier than the old Jessica though, and I buy it.


• Who was David Vickers? Wasn't that the guy Tina was in cahoots with years ago? And she names her dog after him? (side note, hope to see the David Vickers guy back on Wisteria Lane again)


• Nice secret room. All tricked out and decorated. I hope Ty Pennington jumps out with a bullhorn.


• Todd Manning and Marty Saybrooke WHAT? Funny how he raped her 15 years ago and now they're buddies. She's still less interesting than a dishrag. New Todd is kinda hot. Crazy. But hot.


• Bo Buchanan is still on this show? He looks so old. Sorry, he does. Please don't tell me he has a romantic storyline and has any love scenes. He was rather handsome back in '84. Now, not so much.

Any OLTL fans?? Please fill me in on stuff I need to know. I've only gathered all that in the last two days.

Today in the PST LIVE LOUNGE...

I've gotta admit it, here's what cool about working here: live artists that come by for a visit and do small studio performances for us.

In the past, it was like this neat little insider thing where you'd either have to already be here or get invited, and now, we can broadcast these mini-shows live online. Between the cool "performance palace" we've got in the studio next door and the power of the webcam, we've got some pretty cool stuff going on here lately...

Case in point... today Thriving Ivory came by. Their vid for "Angels on the Moon" is being featured on VH1's Top 20... and they just performed it for ME live not even 15 min ago. OK, so it wasn't just for me, but I'd like to think it was!!!

Anyhoo... the whole thing was being broadcast live right through wpst.com, and I bet you didn't even know it...

SO! I am just gently reminding you to always check wpst.com.

Right on the front page of the site, we'll post info if we have artists coming by. And it'll likely look like the one we had posted today:

But no worries, we also had vid footage posted in PST's On Demand Media Center online, so you can still watch it at your leisure.

Class Action Suits, Acai Berries, & Sodium Alginates

My morning in a nutshell, just between the hours of 7AM and 9AM alone.

Got up & checked email to find pretty cool news. Y'know those vague "class action suits" that you sometimes will get info about, but there is so much legal jargon on there that you tend not to read it because you see the following phrase: "... or you may choose not to take part ...." You know what I mean. Those.

Well, it's a good thing I bothered this time. Got something about Netflix awhile ago, and actually read enough through it to realize I hardly had to do anything because it most definitely applied to me. Just had to go online and type my email address in a box. It could've happened years ago, I can barely remember.

This morning, email from Netflix: Your account has been successfully upgraded. Whoa! Class action suit to the rescue - we all got free membership upgrades! Yay! Now, instead of having four movies in my home collecting dust for the last seven months at $21.95/month, I can now have five movies going unwatched and ignored for the same price. What joy!


***


Had a 7:30 AM dentist appointment to get fitted for a retainer. I am officially done with Invisalign. I started about a year ago, and got a 9-12 month timetable which ended pretty at a year on the nose (I learned 20 years too late the all important Never put your dental hardware in a napkin that you might toss out rule.)

So now that I am done with the course of two-weeks-plastic-trays, I am moving onto my new life of nightly retainer wearing. Poor Dr. Fogarty, I always ask him a million questions. Not just about Invisalign or my personal dental history, but broad general questions about dentistry, orthodontics, the future of dental healthcare, technology, etc. When he told me that my retainer schedule was a nightly event, TFN, it dawned on me... when people (kids) get retainers after they get their braces off, that too is supposed to be a daily TFN routine, right?

But I have lived with and/or spent nights with many former braces wearers. And I think out of nearly four dozen roommates/slumberparties/bedfellows I have said "good night" to... I can only recall one single person actually wearing their retainer to bed. Oh my goodness, why is that? Orthodontics are a ridiculously huge investment!!

Now admit it, how many of you former brace-faces who were sentenced to a lifetime of retainer-ship, now grin sheepishly as you read this, with your mouth full of once-again crooked teeth? SHAME ON YOU!! (Interesting side note, apparently Invisalign was invented specifically for your slackers.)

Anyhow, I just wanted to share this admission: I'm obsessed with the toys at the dentist office. Not in the lobby, just all the fun craft products and tools they use. The fun rubbery dental mold is a compound of sodium alginates, calcium sulphates, silicione... you know, the usual stuff. Hahah, seriously who cares what's in it. (If that info is useful to you someday on a gameshow or something, let me know!)

Kept thinking, this stuff would be fun to play with! Or fix stuff around the house. Anybody work in a place where they have access to something cool that's actually useful outside of work?

I've only got fresh clothing for the gym in the form of PST-shirts and a really killer set of headphones that sound incredible but would look stupid on me if I was going out for a jog.

***

Last stop before work (yes, I did all that by 9AM!) was Booster Juice on Nassau Street. It's like Jamba Juice... but here in Jersey.

For a person with notoriously poor nutrition like myself, this is a good way to get your vitamins & stuff into your diet by disguising it as a fun tasty beverage. Not only do they have a full range of drinks & smoothies, they've got these "boosters" you can have added to your drink with all those "It"-supplements that you hear amongst the fit & healthy set: whey, spirulina, wheatgrass, acai berries, etc. etc.


Speaking of the acai berry.... It seems to be very "in" -- like it's the new way to sell your food product if you add the phrase "Now contains ACAI BERRIES!". Even Oprah is all about it, and that should say something.

OK, so what the heck is it? It's a berry from South America which they newly figured out is packed with anti-oxidants. Kinda looks like a blueberry, don't it? Anyhoo, I learned on my favorite drinking show Three Sheets (which is all about drinking. And more drinking) in Brazil, that the Acai Berry is useful in... combatting a hangover!!!! Thank goodness for the anti-oxidants, right?

So from Brazil back to Jersey... the next time you're hungover, swing over to Nassau Street, and nab the $3 double-shot of Acai Berry juice. If it works, I have yet to find out, so let me know if you get there first. Just remember to put enough change in the meter.

90210, Soapnet, One Life To Live, etc.

Way before LC & Heidi, Spencer, Brody, and all that other So Cal high-life nonsense that we love to hate, there was Brenda, Kelly, Dylan, Brandon and the Peach Pit.

I am totally psyched about the new 90210. I know not to expect the old 90210 -- frankly if it was gonna be anything like the old 90210, I wouldn't even contemplate watching it.

Soapnet had a marathon going yesterday and went I caught a few classic moments I thought to myself, "Man this is awesome... but yet so terrible!" Biggest crisis? That David Silver will be homeless after his dad and Kelly's mom split up? Cheating on the SAT? Joyriding in the family car without permission? Buying a fake ID? Goodness, I hate to sound old and crotchety but either times were simpler back then (less than fifteen years ago) or media didn't have the balls they have now to touch controversial, saucy topics.

I can't wait for the first episode of this reincarnation where everyone dopes on Ritalin to get through finals. Texting naughty messages to the wrong phone. Getting busted cheating bc of Facebook. Public humiliation for bringing an out of season Vuitton bag to school. Blogging about a bad day of school and actually naming names. OMG -- this generation is ripe with so much potential drama that should make for some titillating TV... especially because Hollywood is so eager to readily hand it to us these days.

And here I thought watching Brenda taking a pregnancy test was the most shocking thing to ever witness on TV. Hahaha, how naive.

So, please, bring on the drama! I've got a huge glass of red wine ready for the occasion.

* * * *

So, speaking of Soapnet, it reminded me that I am making it my goal to become an avid One Life To Live viewer. Once upon a time I was a more reliable soap fan, mostly General Hospital, with occasional bouts of OLTL and All My Children. (Any soap fan can tell you the most dangerous thing you can do for a soap habit is to tune in too early, and start catching the show that comes before... next thing you know you're wathing that show too.)

My pal Justin -- who you might have seen as one of the finalists for last year's I Wanna Be a Soap Star -- will be on OLTL in the coming weeks, so I want to be prepared when he shows up in Llanview doing something or the other. (You know it is, these things have to be so stealth)

If you're not already a soap fan, start watching and support a great local guy!

So, I'm trying to catch up with what's currently going on before he gets there.

Can anyone fill me in? Does Vicky Buchanan still have five split personalities?

Yearbook Yourself

Came across this site -- YearbookYourself -- you upload a picture, and it shows you in classic yearbook photos from different eras from the last 50 years.

I couldn't believe how well/bad some of mine came out:





Go ahead. YearbookYourself. Dot com.

It's not like you don't have any downtime to spare from your dense clock-watching-internet-abusing schedule.

It does take some finagling -- and might take more than one photo to get it to work -- I got this far with two pics.

And yes, I am mildly upset over how well some of these photos actually turned out. WHY DOES THE JHERI CURL ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD ON ME?!

Oh. Please. Feel free to comment, I deserve it.