OMG, my day. So far...

"Good" morning!

Yeah, hahaha, as IF. What a day I've had so far, and it's only lunchtime.... Yup, sorry guys, no Product Du Jour. But since my name's on the blog, guess what, you get a Toni Ryan Story Du Jour.

Should I start with the fact that I left for work VERY VERY late, first of all, mainly because I was caught up listening to Tommy Jordan's riveting Phony Phone Call (comedic genius!)?... Then I also realized that I wrecked this beautiful wooden end table with nail polish that must've spilled weeks ago and I never noticed (the varnish is all permanently screwed up).

By the time I was in the car, I barely had enough time to pick up coffee. And since I can't be fun and perky without the aid of caffeine, so I rushed to Nassau St for a quick stop at Starbucks . I'm parallel parking the car when the phone rings... it's my pal Lauren... who never calls me in the morning, plus she is out of town. So I immediately think, OMG, is something wrong??

So as I am grabbing the phone, I pull on the parking brake, grab my coffee mug, search for change for the parking meter, find my handy Starbucks gift card, jump out of the car, nearly get hit by a truck, mittens fall on the ground, throw them back in the car, hit the door lock, slam the door shut...

... Meanwhile Lauren is telling me something -- and I barely remember what it was, because I am now patting down my pockets realizing.... NO KEYS.

Nearly hang up on Lauren, and immediately call my brother, no answer. He's in college, so of course at 9 in the morning on a weekday, he is fast asleep.
Call my brother, no answer.
Call my brother, no answer.
Call my brother, and finally a drowsy "What?" on the other end of the line.

I beg him to jump out of bed and drive down to Nassau Street with my spare keys. It's 9:13 AM. I'm supposed to be in the studio ready to start gabbing at 9:45 AM.

Go into Starbucks anyhow and get the coffee. After all, I 've only got my cell phone and my empty Starbucks mug and a gift card full of money, what else could I do? I wait outside because I've got a lot of phone calls to start making. Start with PST's Wade, our in-house problem solver. Should I wait for the keys? Or should I have someone at the station come and get me?

It's now 9:22 AM, my bro on the other line says he's in the car. Wade and I start inventing possible contingency plans... and then I happen to look up at my car.

There's exhaust coming out of the muffler.

Yes. The engine still is running.

Call Wade, he says he'll try and stall the Wake Up Crew. Oh good.
Call bro, he says he sees a detour ahead in the road. Oh God.

Plus it's FREEZING out. And I don't have my mittens, they're in the car. My toes, my fingers, my ass, all getting numb.

Finally the bro calls, "I'm down the street." I tell him don't even bother pulling over, just unlock the car with the remote on the key.

Well guess what? You can't unlock the car with the remote when the car is running. What a nice safety feature. (Damn safety feature!)

9:44 AM get in the car, and I hear the Wake Up Crew talking about last night's episode of Survivor. I go flying down Alexander Road behind morons, all of them morons.

Pull into the parking lot, the Wake Up Crew is getting ready for Last Call. Come running up the stairs, running into the studio, and they make me talk about this debacle on the air while I'm still out of breath.

So yes, I made it. But let me tell you, my coffee has never tasted crappier.

Is there a moral to this story, you ask? Yes, and here it is, so brace yourself:
Stress has a way of ruining a damn good cup of coffee.

Stickgloss: Neither stick, nor gloss... Discuss.

What's on my lips? Laura Mercier... literally.

Today I'm talking Laura Mercier Stickgloss , which I quickly learned is definitely not a lipstick. Nor an actual stick. Nor an actual gloss.... OK, now discuss amongst yourselves....

So Hawaii Margarette* sends me a tube of the Celebrity-must-have lipcolor brand of choice in "Maple", and seriously, I was like, what the hell is this crap? Friends, you should know right off the bat that Toni Ryan is a lipstick fiend. I think I came out of the womb not just with lipstick fully applied, but with a tube of matte lipstick in one hand, and a nice tube of shimmer in the other. So for two weeks, I'm applying and re-applying this stuff thinking, "I can't believe I'm going to have to trash this product. It SUCKS!"

Aaah... guess what, guys. If this product were an actual lipstick, then yes, it sucks. But it doesn't suck, because it was never pretending to be a lipstick. It knows it's not a lipstick... it was just diguised as a lipstick. Comes in a tube and dials up like lipstick too. But lipstick it is definitely not.

OK, so with that being said, I recant earlier brusque dismissals of this entry's Product Du Jour. Laura Mercier's Stickgloss is the perfect answer for you gals who are definitelymore Team Lipgloss than you are Team Lipstick, and occasionally want something a
little more grown-up and longer-wearing.

Laura Mercier Stickgloss cares for your lips while delivering colour in a sheer and sophisticated finish. Part Lip Balm, part Lip Colour and part Lip Glace, Stickgloss provides a sheer wash of colour, creates dimension and adds fullness to the lips.

(That's what she said. LOL. Seriously, check the website.)

You know how lipgloss can be sticky and make your lips a magnet for hair and flying debris? No such thing with the Stickgloss. Glides on, feels moist, and looks pretty. Must be that "part Lip Glace", whatever the heck that means.

$20/tube available at Sephora, Blue Mercury, Nordstroms and the like.
Overall, pretty good stuff. But it's no lipstick.

(This message paid for by Team Lipstick.)

* * *

*So who is Hawaii Margarette? That's incidental, but if she really wanna know, she's my glamazon bff who now lives in Hawaii not just because she's so freaking cool and cutting edge, but mainly because her hubby is from there and dragged her back home to Oahu after he made an honest woman out of her. But while you can take a glam city gal out of the glam city, you can't take the glam out of the city gal. (Wow, that was confusing, but you get it). She's worked in fancy retail and fancy cosmetics, and has always been my passport to sampling fancy products and other nice smelling stuff.

Now why do I brag about my Hawaii Margarette? Because, friends, I am telling you to go out there and get a Hawaii Margarette. Best part, you probably already have one. A friend that somehow gets access to products you can try out. Either because she works at a store or a mall, or constantly signs up for stuff and gets free samples in the mail, or maybe because she buys so much stuff that stores are throwing freebies at her. And because she's now got so much stuff, she's throwing stuff at you too!

If you're game (and don't have sensitive skin), I say try the stuff out, and let me know how it goes! I'd love to hear about your tales of ... well, stuff! And, special thanks to Hawaii Margarette for always throwing stuff my way. Together, we are doing a service to the makeup wearing community at large.