Oh Soy Smooth...

Silly me. I would never recommend a $30 lotion* without offering you a less pricey alternative, so here it be: Aveeno's Positively Smooth Moisturizing Lotion.

Love it. Smooth, and also smells like a baby's bum .

(Who knew soy could be moisturizing... and here I thought you were only useful for making Soy Sauce and Tofu....)

*OK, so it was only $27 bucks. I lied, but when product starts to get that expensive, you forget all about the GW's.

The "Good" Soaps

You know what those are. They're the pristine, unusued, pretty bars of soap that you put out next to the "Good" towels when guests are about to arrive. And maybe you're not that old-fashioned, but maybe you grew up in a household where the displaying of the "Good" stuff was part and parcel with people coming over. You so know what I'm talking about.
Today's Product Du Jour: Bath & Body Works Anti-Bacterial Gentle Foaming Hand Soap. A mouthful, I know, but well worth every last syllable. Not only makes an excellent alternative to the decorative soaps you only put out for everyone else, but economically worthy to use on an everyday basis.
First of all, the obvious foaming soap seems to clean faster, and because it's already foamy, it comes out of the pump doing its job. According to something I swiped from the bright folks at Yale...

[Foam soap] is faster-acting and it rinses easier, thereby saving water over time... [and] more effective than other types of soap... because it goes on more smoothly.... a Yale chemistry professor, said foam soap helps minimize
waste by cutting down on the amount of soap used.

And, there's more! See here's the thing: not only does it do all of that practical stuff, but damn if it doesn't always smell so good -- and the fragrance lasts! I mean, like, you wash your hands and then keep catching pleasant whiffs of your own hands. I'm not kidding when I tell you I've seen my pals emerging from the bathroom, hands up to their nose in a pose reminiscent of Mary Katherine Gallagher sniffing out armpit odor. To which I can only nod knowingly and say, "I know. Smells freaking fantastic, doesn't it?!"
My personal faves, light & pretty Sweet Pea, and the zesty & summery Coconut Lime Verbena. Best part? If you've long ago hit your BBW Saturation Point (and that is the day where you go from absolutely loving one specific flavor of Bath & Body Works, and then the next day wake up totally sick of the smell), then this is a good time to get reacquainted with an old friend. Something about your old standbys like Sun-Riped Raspberries and Country Apple being delivered in a foamy soap form kinda de-intensifies its fragrance, thereby making it tolerable once again! Yay!
And as you know, the best part about Bath & Body Works... everything goes on sale at some point. Right now, these soaps are going for 3 for $10. Plus, the holidays are on the way which means the deals could get sweeter.
So you buy 3 or 5 or 8 bottles of this stuff in the whole rainbow of scents. Put 1 out right now, set aside 1 for the guests, and hide away the rest for later. Then when you get done sniffing your pretty smelling hands, you can shoot me an email to say thanks for tip. But I doubt you'll get around to it. Yes, it smells that good. So you're welcome in advance. :)

Oat So Smooth...

So you know what I'm about, I normally don't give props to products that require you forfeiting this month's student loan payment. But every now and again, a pricey-ish product comes along that's just plain worth it, and well... all bets are off.
Here, I proudly present one of those exceptions: Archipelago Botanicals Milk Hydrating Lotion Pump No. 12. Sure, oats make for a good filling breakfast, but here, they make up one bad-ass lotion. I found it in a little boutique in Princeton, where it was marked at $27 a bottle (or can, actually -- it's a fairly tall can, at that).
And this lotion... whoa. Goes on smooth, creamy, definitely not sticky, and leaves behind a pleasant scent, reminiscent of a baby's bottom (a clean baby, you nuts.) And it moisturizes the heck out of you. One coating that went on after the morning shower deftly defeated the threat of afternoon dry skin, and still had a faint trace of that baby-fresh scent by evening.
Also available through Amazon at $25 a can. Which, if you play your cards right, you can work that into another order and make use of some Free Shipping, and it just might be worthwhile.

Never get in the way of a Woman & her Shoes

Just a follow-up if anyone caught my shoe dilemma on the air today... but first, here's some back story, and a tale of how Jessica Simpson does good, and how I am a stickler for good customer service, and more proof that I am crazy, especially when I am being messed with in the arena of shoes.
Bought a pair of awesome pumps at a department store that shall remain unnamed, but they were a wee bit snug, so I decided to check out the same store in another mall. Well, as you know, while I am dutifully hooking up your Workday with More Variety during the best times to make a weekday mall-run, I figured, hey, why I don't I call first, and check if they have another size? That'll spare me the trip of having to drive to Quakerbridge to go to Looor... oops. Almost told you which store!
Well, I called, and as expected, got put on hold. Which is fine, I was calling after 1PM, I know they were probably busy.
Except, people, as I sat here in the studio, spinning more of Today's Hit Music... songs kept going by. After five songs (about 15 minutes!), I was like, ugh, what am I doing?! So I hung up and called back. "Uh, I think you forgot you me, I was on hold. For a while." I was asked if I could hold again, they were busy. Before they had a chance to put me on hold again, I said, "It's fine, but you can't make a person wait 15 minutes without at least coming back to ask me to keep holding!"
Well, apparently it really wasn't fine with me. Because then I changed my mind and hung up, and then called back. This time to the executive office. "Hi, look I hate to be that person, but here's what just happened when I called your shoe department...."
The nice person on other end apologized and offered to check the shoe department herself. Wow. And yes, I did feel like a major meanie. But hey, I don't have to shop at that store, right? As it turns out, they didn't have my size. So, in the long run, it was worth it. Didn't have to actually drive over there, which probably would've ticked me off more.
And what was all the hubbub over?
Hahaha, well check this out: Jessica Simpson makes shoes. And actually, they are awesome. The shoe that caused today's stir are called Abba (like the band, yes). It's a cute open-toe platform, and frankly -- not only does it look good, but ... it's comfortable! It's lightly padded, and the platform is enough so that short girls with small feet can be wearing a 4" heel. Yay us!
So here's to Jessica Simpson, here's to 4" heels, and here's to good customer service!
The End.

Everyone loves stickers. OK, maybe not.

Clever Avon. Here's an award for your innovations in the future of no-fuss nailwear..... OK, yeah, well now we're taking it back.
Avon's Instant Manicure. Neither instant. Nor manicure. Discuss amongst yourselves... Well, fine, since I've actually used it, I'll do the talking. In fact, I wanna get my two cents (or 8 bucks worth) in before PST's Allison gets a chance, since I know all her thoughts go in one direction on this subject (and it's not positive!!)
The dilly is thus: stickers in various shapes to fit all potential size of nail in several beautiful Avon shades. They really are pretty, I should mention that. (I picked a deep red, more on that later.)
So, just like with fake do-it-yourself nail tips, you size 'em out, figure out what will fit. Then peel this, peel that, and place the round edge close to the cuticle, press, press, press... and voila. Instant nail polish, smooth and dry.
Except, NOT.
Just like any sticker might be when you peel off its protective covering... hello! Static Cling! The sticker's here, there, everywhere, just not on your nail! Hard to control, let alone align correctly on your nail. So once you get it on, you press it around the nail, and really, your fingers and nails should be clean and devoid of emollients or lotion. Mine were, and it still wouldn't take. Puckering around the edges. Then whatever's left ("sticker spillover" we now dub it), you just press in with your thumbnail and break it off. Truth? On the difficulty scale, I'm rating it Major Pain in the Hoo-haa.
OK, let's jump ahead. The sticker's affixed (sorta). Doesn't look so hot. I mentioned puckering around the edges, and this is assuming you got all the air bubbles out from under the nail. As for the top edge that you break off... yeah not so much. And don't think this lack of success is due to some flaw on my part. I am the decoupage queen, and can smooth out a sofa slipcover like no other. So the fact that I can't work out a freaking sticker on my fingernail is saying something here!!
I really really really wanted this product to work. But the fifteen minutes I spent putting the stickers on (not even counting the additional time I spent through the day futzing with it afterwards!) was just not "instant" enough in my book. Too much hassle, for not a great payback.
What I can tell you though, is that Avon does makes some pretty colors in nail enamel. The part of the sticker that did stay on (and by the way, stay on it did) was a beautiful red, glossy & vibrant. It made me even more sad that it didn't work out. I liked Allison's pink too. Total shame. And the part of the sticker that did linger was a pretty damn stubborn color.
So let's just call it a work in progress. Sorry Avon. Keep pumping out that Skin-So-Soft, and I'll still have your back.

Lashing Out. Part 1.

OK, I know, I owe you guys big-time. Got caught up in non-blog related activities (read: real life), but believe me, you were in my thoughts. At least four times a day (which is every time I went to futz with my makeup).
This is Part 1 in an ongoing, probably never-ending series: Stuff That Makes Your Lashes Look Good.
Today, big ups go to Maybelline, the maker of reliable lash products, for XXL.
Normally, Toni Ryan would say, "Pooh pooh on the two-part mascara product." Today, I say no such thing. I won't bore you with the pretty words Maybelline's marketing people have devised to instruct you on what the two parts are doing for your lashes, so just simply know this: white stuff=primer, dark stuff=mascara. The white stuff must be doing the trick, because I have lately been confused into believing that I have lashes (for the record, I don't really have much in that department). And in expected Maybelline fashion, the dark stuff are doing their job too, being a non-drying, non-flaking quality mascara.
I used waterproof -- made possible for $5.89 to Ulta -- and not a raccoon eye was to be had, even while I was watching Extreme Home Makeover (and that is a true test for a good mascara!!). Also it's opthamowhatchamacallit safe, so this contact lens wearer gives her stamp of approval.
I am longer-lashed Toni Ryan, and I approve this message.